You need you, mommy.
This post is a reflection on a powerful and poignant 6 minute Youtube video I watched of Jada Pinkett Smith talking about how difficult it is to balance being a mother, a wife and herself.If I’m not mistaken this video was uploaded three years ago but I firmly believe the issues and lessons are very much relevant today.
She pointed out that taking care of others was exhausting particularly when she puts herself last.I felt that it hit home for me because as a stay at home mom, my home is my world.These past few months I gradually realized that I had to have my own personal goals to keep me moving forward.
“Life is like riding a bicycle, to keep your balance you need to keep moving. ~ Albert Einstein”
These personal goals are not selfish but allow me to grow as an individual. I had wanted to work on my writing and crocheting skills and thankfully, I was able to build this blog as an avenue for both.I also wanted to contribute something to my community and being part of several groups gave me opportunities to put my crochet skills to good use. I think the more I grow, the better I am at fulfilling my roles in the long run.
I think this way of life can be applied to personal health as well. When I started breastfeeding, I would hold my pee when my little one was in the middle of a feeding. My mom told me that I should unlatch her because if I continue to do this, I might get urinary tract infection. As moms, we are ready to sacrifice everything for our family’s happiness and welfare but I think we have to draw the line. Think about it, if you’re sick, then everybody else will be affected too. Since then, I’ve been trying to balance my health needs with my family’s and learned when to ask for help.
I think this way of life can be applied to personal health as well. When I started breastfeeding, I would hold my pee when my little one was in the middle of a feeding. My mom told me that I should unlatch her because if I continue to do this, I might get urinary tract infection. As moms, we are ready to sacrifice everything for our family’s happiness and welfare but I think we have to draw the line. Think about it, if you’re sick, then everybody else will be affected too. Since then, I’ve been trying to balance my health needs with my family’s and learned when to ask for help.
Jada also mentioned that we are responsible for our own happiness.She elaborated that women often look to their partners to make themselves happy and this shouldn’t be the case.I completely agree. In my previous post, Who wants to be happier? I do! I shared how having habits that make us feel relaxed and in the zone can help us be happier.Our happy habit shouldn’t depend on our partner but on ourselves.It is important for us to know ourselves outside of our roles and figure out what makes us happier. Let us fill our wells so that we could radiate positivity and be able to take care of others more effectively.
As the year ends and a new one begins, I hope all women, especially mothers out there, give some time to their interests, their friends and their dreams. Let’s follow the standard in airplane safety: Put on your oxygen first before assisting others. Oxygen represents the things or happenings that bring us to life.Our children need and deserve a loving and thriving (not barely surviving) mother. Our work demands our enthusiasm on top of our time and hard work. We have the right to be happy with all our efforts in the different roles that we play.
A quote by Howard Thurman echoes these sentiments beautifully:
A quote by Howard Thurman echoes these sentiments beautifully:
Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.
Here is the video:
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We mums do have so many things to worry about + take care off that we often forget about ourselves. it really is a must that we take care of ourselves and enrich ourselves in order to be better mothers and wives. This is timely, as I need a constant reminder on this. That is why I am resolving to give ample time to my passions this year, learning new skills, doing things that I love doing.
This is really spot-on. It's like she's speaking in behalf of all the mothers. We definitely should take care of ourselves even in the tiniest ways.
i also watched her video recently and it was really spot on! others may think that it's a selfish act but us mothers know that this is true regardless whether you stay at home or work outside. our happiness is also our family's happiness, right?
I agree that you should love yourself first before you give love away. And yes, we are responsible for our own happiness.
I agree that the more you balance yourself as a mom and wife, the more everybody is happy. If the mother feels good, everybody feels good too! 🙂 Thanks for sharing this sis. Such an inspiring post.
Oh that's really nice. I agree that no other person should hold the key to our happiness. That "happy habit" made me think. What's mine? Hehe
I like the part where we are responsible for our own happiness. I do things that makes me happy with or without my partner. We can do things together naman eh. So I need to make a list of my goals for myself because I only had list for our family goals. Great post!
Agree with your post. I personally think what keeps me going is not just my fambam but also the goals that I have set for myself as a woman. 🙂
Good read to start my year! It's always nice to be reminded that we need to take care of ourselves first in order for us to fully be able to take care of the others around us. Will keep this in mind throughout the year!
Thanks for sharing. I feel the same but you know what, we spend so much time taking care of the people around us. It doesn't hurt too if the people around us appreciate what we do for them. I feel that we have to make ourselves happy – but its difficult if you don't feel appreciated too. Jada is lucky because she's very stable financially.
Good thing I have read this before I continue with my cleaning. More often than not, I try to finish everything by noon time so I have the other half of the day focused only to my four-month old baby. Turns out, Im so exhausted come afternoon that when my other three boys return home from school, I am all stressed out. The video is enlightening. Helps me know my priorities.
Thanks for sharing this to us.
I totally agree with taking care of yourself first. I might have experienced depression when I had our first child because my world revolved around her and my husband…and I forgot about what I want for myself. I changed my approach to motherhood when we had our second child and I felt happier. And because I'm happier, my whole family is happier too. 🙂