This post is a reflection on a powerful and poignant 6 minute Youtube video I watched of Jada Pinkett Smith talking about how difficult it is to balance being a mother, a wife and herself.If I’m not mistaken this video was uploaded three years ago but I firmly believe the issues and lessons are very much relevant today.
She pointed out that taking care of others was exhausting particularly when she puts herself last.I felt that it hit home for me because as a stay at home mom, my home is my world.These past few months I gradually realized that I had to have my own personal goals to keep me moving forward.
“Life is like riding a bicycle, to keep your balance you need to keep moving. ~ Albert Einstein”
These personal goals are not selfish but allow me to grow as an individual. I had wanted to work on my writing and crocheting skills and thankfully, I was able to build this blog as an avenue for both.I also wanted to contribute something to my community and being part of several groups gave me opportunities to put my crochet skills to good use. I think the more I grow, the better I am at fulfilling my roles in the long run. I think this way of life can be applied to personal health as well. When I started breastfeeding, I would hold my pee when my little one was in the middle of a feeding. My mom told me that I should unlatch her because if I continue to do this, I might get urinary tract infection. As moms, we are ready to sacrifice everything for our family’s happiness and welfare but I think we have to draw the line. Think about it, if you’re sick, then everybody else will be affected too. Since then, I’ve been trying to balance my health needs with my family’s and learned when to ask for help.
Jada also mentioned that we are responsible for our own happiness.She elaborated that women often look to their partners to make themselves happy and this shouldn’t be the case.I completely agree. In my previous post, Who wants to be happier? I do! I shared how having habits that make us feel relaxed and in the zone can help us be happier.Our happy habit shouldn’t depend on our partner but on ourselves.It is important for us to know ourselves outside of our roles and figure out what makes us happier. Let us fill our wells so that we could radiate positivity and be able to take care of others more effectively.
As the year ends and a new one begins, I hope all women, especially mothers out there, give some time to their interests, their friends and their dreams. Let’s follow the standard in airplane safety: Put on your oxygen first before assisting others. Oxygen represents the things or happenings that bring us to life.Our children need and deserve a loving and thriving (not barely surviving) mother. Our work demands our enthusiasm on top of our time and hard work. We have the right to be happy with all our efforts in the different roles that we play. A quote by Howard Thurman echoes these sentiments beautifully:
Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.
Here is the video:
Feel free to share your thoughts and this blog post on your wall! Who knows, it might help a mommy struggling to find herself in motherhood. Thank you for taking time to read this!